i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
