Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
