My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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