My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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