Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize