There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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