she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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