Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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