He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
