girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize