Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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