apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
