RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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