She's JV to your varsity
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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