she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
