We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
