Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
