Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think i have herpe
just one?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize