"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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