you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
