I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize