I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
