Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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