I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
