Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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