She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
