Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
