I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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