using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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