Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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