Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
