what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize