i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
