So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize