you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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