Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
