i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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