Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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