I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
