If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
