i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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