So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
two words: eviction party
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
