What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
