I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
