I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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