i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
