My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
