So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
