Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
