you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
