woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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