Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
