I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
