First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
