we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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