Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
