Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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