yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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