She said her name was "party"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize