the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
